Came back to me.

Something was there... but now it's not. It was once alive, but I guess it decided to parish. I'm not sure what it was that was keeping it alive. All I know is it was filling a void. A void created by my own psychological defects that I still have yet to master.

It kept me warm when I was alone as night. It kept me safe when I was causing harm to myself. It never left my side, even when we had a fight.

But now it's truly gone. Somethings eatting at the memories and they are being replaced but with what I don't know.

It's said that it's impossible to truly forget something. It's just a matter of finding that door in your mind with the help of the key that goes with it to view the contents inside, but what if you threw the key away... a long time ago. The door is there. The memory is still locked away, but it'll never been shared again due to the lack of confidence that it could mean something else in the end. A lesson you didn't want to learn.

I've learned a lesson but it doesn't change anything at all.

Eh, I don't think I am going to write on this anymore.

p.s. my hands smell funny.

There is only one thing I can do nothing about.

It's true. So, I'm just going to move on. It's the best idea yet.

Happy Holidays, my dears.